Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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