I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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