Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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