we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
