I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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