Got a toothbrush?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize