the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
