He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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