booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
