Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
