New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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