i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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