wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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