Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
