Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
