Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
