how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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