69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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