Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
