Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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