Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
