Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
