We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
