Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
