At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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