his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
