this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
