you win again, gameday.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't turn off my feet"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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