i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize