Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
