Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
did i walk over a car last night?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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