Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
