I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
