I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it's like iHOP with fire
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
