Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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