I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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