do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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