New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
