i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
