he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize