Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
