there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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