she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
