im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
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