Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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