and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
