We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
