We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
