He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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