I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
