Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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