so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
