Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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