those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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