that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
