He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
