OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
