Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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