I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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