i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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