the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you would pick up someone in the library
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My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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