Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
