Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
