I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
