Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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