Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
