so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
