You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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