Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
