Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
