According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
