i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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